TJ's Double Play

Everyone loves hypothetical questions!  1L T. Seider poses a few here.

I choose not to partake in voluntary class participation, as a rule. A lot of it has to do with not loving to talk in front of people (what a clever career choice I have made), and also possibly the fact that I “don’t know what I’m talking about”. There are those, however, who are passionate about speaking out, and within this group is a subset composed of my favorite law students: the Hypothetical Question Askers. They always make class a little more interesting, and give everyone a much-needed break from taking notes, or Facebook stalking, or drooling on a fellow classmate.  Also, it’s fun to watch them turn the tables on the professors, asking questions involving circumstances undreamed of by the average human mind.

Crim: “Ok, so I get that it’s illegal to club your neighbor’s dog just for barking (write that down), but what if instead of being a 35 year old woman the attacker was an epileptic male midget who just got really bad news and is allergic to pet dander? Would that change the outcome in the case of Dogcrusher v. Texas?” (Note: Yes. Dogcrusher found not guilty.)

Civ Pro: “Can a zombie be taken to civil court? And would this be a federal or a state matter? I only ask because there is some sort of Necropolis underneath my apartment complex (Note: Ivy Gardens), and it could be relevant for me soon.”

Torts: “So the Court found that this woman was guilty of negligence despite the fact that she thought she was Batman when she got in her car accident (my favorite case so far). But would it have made a difference if the woman actually were Batman? What if a different kind of non-vigilante superhero? Also, don’t you think Batman is pretty cool?”

Now, there have been certain people in my classes from sections that will remain nameless (Section K, Contracts), who roll their eyes and groan when these delightful inquiries are made. And while I know it must be hard for them to postpone another incisive comment read from the Notes section of the casebook, it is important they understand that it is for the greater good. Section C has four classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and despite genuinely liking and being interested in our professors, sometimes we need distractions to keep blood from seeping out of our ears.

So today I salute you, Hypothetical Question Asker, may you never tire in your quest for absurd knowledge.

For more hypos check out this old post.